“If we all hold on to the mistake, we can’t see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can’t see what we’re capable of being. You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one’s own self.”
– Maya Angelou
I’ve come to learn that there are few greater roadblocks to a life of good work than that of perfectionism. Personally, it’s been my Achilles’ heel.
So many of us are plagued with the constant, looming fear that somewhere, someone is watching and waiting for us to get it wrong–not to mention the merciless nature of social media call-out culture and the speed at which mistakes can become content for consumption! Y I K E S!
We’ve seen it everywhere: the disgraced non-profit leader exposed for a toxic work environment, the microaggression mistakenly spoken at that event, the motivational speaker called out for their lackluster take on a critical global issue (and the millions of think pieces that follow), the harsh and unforgiving comment section beneath an Instagram post that should’ve probably stayed in the drafts… you get the picture.
Sometimes, perfectionism can fool us into thinking that we shouldn’t even try to do what we feel called to do at all.
It seems like we could all benefit from a line of defense to protect our good work from the desire to give up when faced with the reality of our own imperfections. Here’s where I started:
Step 1: Factor mistakes into your plans.
Step 2: Finish each day and be done with it.
“Finish each day and be done with it… you have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as fast as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
Factoring mistakes into your plans is like giving yourself a buffer of sorts. It’s the consistent reminder that you are not perfect and never will be, so mistakes are natural and to be expected. We ward off perfectionism by creating environments (within yourself and in spaces you occupy) where mistakes aren’t demonized and you have a soft place to land when they inevitably happen.
Then, when that imperfect day comes, we do what we can to make things right and we remind ourselves that this day will end. And that’s that.
This doesn’t mean that we forget the lessons that come with our mistakes or dismiss the importance of not repeating them–it simply means that we will not allow ourselves to ruminate or obsess over them. Our mistakes are not our masters. Tomorrow is too beautiful and full of promise to waste it being bogged down by the “blunders” of yesterday.
Mistakes can sting, there’s no doubt about that… but being equipped with a plan of action for how to process through them can keep us engaged in the good we’re called to do for the long haul.
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